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Home » Religion Jokes » Catholic Dictionary

Catholic Dictionary

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AMEN

The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN

Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR

A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN

A song of praise usually sung in a key two octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN

The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE

Holy Smoke!

JUSTICE

When kids have kids of their own.

PEW

A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

RECESSIONAL

The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the

parking lot.

RELICS

People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS

The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.





 
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